Showing posts with label foreign langauge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label foreign langauge. Show all posts

Saturday, September 26, 2015

September Notes...

Notes from a Small Country
(with apologies to Bill Bryson)

Our Moldovan home

Добро пожаловать в Молдову!
Well, the hiatus has ended, and tour #2 has now begun.  Incredibly, I’ve been here – on the ground in Moldova – for a month already.  Recently, we also celebrated four years in the Foreign Service.  Truly, I have no idea how this happened.  But here I am, and so:  Welcome to Moldova!

Notes from a Small Country
In 1995, Bill Bryson, one of my favorite authors, published Notes from a Small Island, a volume of stories about the life and people of Great Britain he wrote after twenty years of living there.  (I highly recommend it, by the way.)  I’ll have two years not twenty, and while I’m on an island of sorts, I’m also in a small European country with a rich and interesting history.

Of course there are any number of ways to measure the relative size of a country (by area, population, number of working Ladas per person, like that), but no matter how you measure it, Moldova is a small country.  It’s landlocked (therefore a bit like an island) and sandwiched between Romania to the west and Ukraine to the north, east and south.  A former republic in the old USSR, it declared independence in late August 1991, shortly after the attempted August coup d’état failed to unseat Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev. 

One of many old Soviet-model cars
still in use around Chisinau
Moldova in Eastern Europe
(wikipedia.com)

As you can see, it’s quite a small country.  Slightly bigger than Belgium and Haiti yet smaller than the island of Taiwan, it sits at about 136th in a ranking of countries by area out of nearly 200 nations.  It was the second smallest republic in the Soviet Union, ahead only of Armenia.  It is slightly larger than the state of Maryland, and the United States is about 290 times bigger.  It’s so small that the mighty Danube River, which is like the Mississippi of western Europe, touches Moldovan soil at the southern border for less than 400 meters, effectively giving the country one water route to the Black Sea, and which is smaller than many actual port facilities in Europe, North America or Asia.

There are about 3.5 million people here, also ranking it around 132nd in the world.  Minnesota has about 5 million, give or take.  Most people are ethnic Slavs, a majority speak Romanian or Moldovan (virtually the same as Romanian) and are Orthodox Christians.  With one of the worlds’ lowest fertility rates and one of the highest negative net migration levels in the world (more people leave than arrive), the overall population is aging and declining.

Chisinau is the capital city and has 750,000 people or so.  Pronunciation of the city in English is a bit problematic, depending upon which language one uses as a base in the first place.  (National language plays kind of a big role here, as you’ll see momentarily.)  If you use Russian as the base (Кишинёв), the city is pronounced like “kee-shi-NYOV,” but if you use Romanian (Chișinău), it’s pronounced “KEE-shi-now.”  Either way, the “ch” at the beginning has a hard “k” sound, and the “s” has a “sh” sound.  It sits at about 47 degrees north latitude, almost the same as Minneapolis-Saint Paul, which is at 45 degrees north latitude.  The climate is roughly the same, too, although with less severe extremes in terms of temperature.

The Republic of Moldova
(CIA World Factbook)

A Frozen Conflict
There is an interesting “frozen conflict” here in an area called Transnistria, a small strip of land between the Dniester River in the east of Moldova and the western border with Ukraine.  It started in the waning years of the Soviet Union when people in the Moldavian Soviet Socialist Republic (as Moldova was known when a state within the USSR) began the discussion about changing the national language from Russian to Moldovan/Romanian.  A group was then formed in Chisinau to protect the interests of the ethnic Russian people in Transnistria as well as the Russian language (sound familiar?), the official language of the Soviet Union.  The war of words, general strikes and competing legislative efforts (like the declaration on August 31, 1989 by the Supreme Council of the MSSR that Moldovan would now be the official language) continued to escalate, meaning confrontation was perhaps inevitable.  As the MSSR began enacting more and more laws and policies indicating an equally inevitable split from the USSR, like a new flag, a new name for the country (the Republic of Moldova) and a declaration of sovereignty (meaning Moldovan laws were to supersede Soviet laws), periodic fighting began, and continued as a low-grade conflict from autumn 1989 until March 1992.  Complicating things, more factions arose (like a group advocating unification between Moldova and Romania, and decisions by local authorities in Transnistria for the local police to ignore the government in Chisinau and obey only their orders), and that low-grade conflict became full-scale war on March 2, 1992, the same day the United Nations formally recognized Moldova’s declaration of independence from August 27, 1991.

With support from several former Soviet Republics and some remnants of the Soviet Red Army, Transnistrian authorities, armed separatists and volunteers battled with Moldovan police and a nascent national army supported by arms and advisors from Romania for just over four months in three principal locations along the Dniester River.  Something in the neighborhood of a thousand soldiers, police and civilians were killed during the war, until a cease fire was agreed to in July 1992.  This is a frozen conflict because it is this cease fire which remains in force, and a Joint Control Commission under the auspices of the Organization of Security and Cooperation in Europe (OSCE) is now the peacekeeping force maintaining the status quo in a kind of buffer between the two nations.  Technically a demilitarized zone, the force is made up of about 1,300 Russian regular Army troops as well as several hundred soldiers each from Moldova, Ukraine and Transnistria.  Russia has agreed periodically to return munitions and soldiers back to the Motherland over the years, but those 1,300 or so will remain until the conflict is finally resolved.

Flag of Transnistria
(euractiv.com)

Coincidentally, I arrived in Moldova on Independence Day (August 27), and what was to be my first day in the office was a national holiday, National Language Day (August 31).

Жизнь и Pабота – Life and Work
One month into a two-year tour is not very significant, but in my short time here I have done and observed a few things.

Firstly, our house is super cool.  Three bedrooms, hardwood floors throughout (with beautiful parquet floors in the living room), a nice-sized enclosed yard with a dozen or so fruit trees (apple, plum, sweet as well as sour cherries), a number of nice gardens (with a preexisting strawberry patch) and our very own mature grape vines are some highlights.  Moldova’s economy is dominated by agriculture, and that sector is dominated by wine production.  So far I’ve been very satisfied with the quality of wine available, and for very reasonable prices!  Did I mention we have our very own wine cellar?  No?  Well we do!  And a colleague mentioned recently that he felt we had the best private wine cellar he’d seen other than the Ambassador’s.  So that’s cool.  I feel as if our time here will be a constant struggle between filling the wine cellar and emptying it.  This house seems made for hosting parties, which we fully intend to do, so come join us and make use of those extra rooms and get ready to help us deplete our wine stocks!

The House!

About ten minutes’ walk from here is a nice little grocery store / market called Linella, and while small, it has a good assortment of high quality groceries and fresh fruits and vegetables.  It has a proper deli, meat section and has nice quality breads, as well as a little wine and beer selection.  (I bought a nice bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon the other day and it cost about $4.)  It’s small, but once I have access to my car there are a number of other, larger grocery stores around town, including a French-owned market in the creatively-named shopping center called “Malldova.”

Last year I read a little book called Playing the Moldovans at Tennis in anticipation of my move to Chisinau.  It was a light hearted, humorous travel book that didn’t always paint a very flattering picture of the national capital:  city streets without lighting at night and missing manhole covers on the same were a high, or rather low, light.  (I can imagine that would be a rather, um, interesting combination to experience.)  Moldova is a poor country, but clearly progress has been made on several fronts, at least in the infrastructure within Chisinau.

I have yet to get out and explore the country itself, but have been around the capital a bit and I have to say I’m rather impressed.  It’s not Vienna or Washington, and it’s certainly not Minneapolis, but it’s a nice, compact little city.  Roads are paved, some are even reasonably lit at night, there are quite a few decent restaurants, and I have yet to encounter a missing manhole cover.  Sidewalks exist along some streets, although sometimes they just disappear or are in rough shape, and occasionally they are obstructed by any number of unexpected things as I discovered my first week here when I smacked into a billboard right a forehead level.  Streets in the city are often leafy and green, and while there is some trash littered about, it’s not at levels like I experienced in Port-au-Prince. 

The View Restaurant at the Hotel Nobil
 
Mmmmmmm....
Of course this is not to say that Moldova doesn’t have its issues.  Like any country or individual, we’re all works in progress, advancing or retreating as the occasion warrants.  Moldova is a parliamentary democracy, and there have been struggles with governing effectively since independence.  There was a recent two- or three-year period where the country was without a government (no, no, not like that; no candidate in Parliament could gain a majority of support from among its members in order to form a ruling coalition), and this past summer a 28-year-old businessman and banker was accused and then arrested on suspicion of illegally transferring – wait for it – almost a billion dollars from three Moldovan banks over the course of two days.  This is roughly 12% of the nation’s annual GDP, which, if you didn’t already guess, is a lot.  The Moldovan Central Bank was then forced to bail out the three banks to the tune of $870 million dollars in emergency loans in order to keep the economy from collapsing.  Estimated total losses could reach the $1 billion mark.

A report detailing the alleged theft was released and later published after the public got wind of what happened, and the accused businessman – Ilan Shor, one of the richest people in the country who is married to a Russian pop star (of course he is!) – was charged with corruption and placed under house arrest during the subsequent investigation.  Then, a van transporting critical investigative documents was “mysteriously” stolen and was later found to have been destroyed by a fire.  He was given immunity during his house arrest as he was also, coincidentally, a candidate for mayor of a small town about 25 miles north of Chisinau, which – of course – he won with 62% of the vote this past June.  He’s now the mayor of Orhei, and is evidently more popular now than ever before as he arranges to have this city of 25,000 completely electrified with street lights and high efficiency LED bulbs.  You can check it out right here:  http://orhei.md/index.php?pag=news&id=813&l=ro

One result of these massive losses to the Moldovan economy and the corruption at the root of many ills in society is that popular protests have been organized just about every weekend over the past few months, with tens of thousands of people gathering and marching in the city center to demand the resignation of the government and an end of rule by the oligarchs.  Fortunately, they have all been peaceful.  So far.  This, too, is a work in progress.

Moldova is one of the poorest countries in Europe (GDP per capita is about $5,000 per year, or 171st in the world) and 1/8th of their GDP just vanished, virtually overnight.  They are energy dependent, mostly on Russian oil and gas, and a large percentage (totaling about $1.6 billion) of their national income is from remittances that come from family living and working abroad.  Several local colleagues have shared with me that, despite the relative poverty of the country, there are more Porsche Cayennes in this country than anywhere else in the world.  And while I don’t know about the veracity of that startling observation, there certainly are quite a lot of luxury cars driving about in town.  On a trip home recently I saw, in short order, a Bentley and a variety of high-end BMWs, Mercedes and Audis, often with darkened windows and zooming along past the babushkas and pedestrians struggling to make their way on the sidewalks and zipping in and out of traffic on streets filled with packed city buses and taxis.

Like I said, a work in progress.

Doing the People’s Work
All that being said, it’s not all play and no work.  I am here to do a job, after all.

The Embassy itself is very different from Haiti.  In Port-au-Prince all agencies were housed in one NEC (New Embassy Compound), opened in 2008 and like a modern office building with loads of extra security.  Hundreds of people worked there, and we had several annexes and other buildings on the grounds, along with a small swimming pool, the Marine House (a dormitory for the Marine Corps Security Guards), and a regulation basketball court.  The Embassy in Chisinau is 115-year-old former ballet school.  Of course we have lots of security and all that, and several out-buildings made from converted containers and mobile structures which have essentially become permanent buildings, but several agencies are housed in other buildings in town, and while we, too, have a couple hundred people, it’s not nearly the size of Haiti.  There we had something like 200 direct hire Americans, here we have about 40.

US Embassy - Moldova
(moldova.org)

As in Haiti, I am working as a Consular Officer performing visa interviews, helping American citizens, and conducting the business of the United States here in this little corner of Europe.

I’ve detailed my job as a Consular Officer before, based on my tour in Haiti.  (In the event you’ve forgotten, and care, you can go here to refresh your memory.)  In the Consulate in Haiti we had 15 Entry Level Officers, five managers, a Deputy Consul General and a Consul General, along with about 50 or more locally hired colleagues. In Moldova we have a Consul (my boss), me (and Entry Level Officer), an American citizen colleague who is trained to adjudicate visas, and five local staff.  The work is very similar, but the volume is much, much lower and of course the issues are different, as they are in every country.  Whereas in Haiti Officers worked months at a time in a particular unit (Non-Immigrant Visas, Immigrant Visas, American Citizen Services, Adoptions and Fraud Prevention) doing just the work of that unit, here we rotate essentially every day between NIV, IV and ACS, and do adoption work and fraud work as needed.  For example, in Haiti each Officer in the NIV unit (typically five on a given day) conducted between 70 and 100 interviews, every day, for several months at a time.  Here we have between 50 and 75 interviews each day, divided between two officers.  So the pace isn’t as frenetic as it was in Haiti, and for that I am grateful.

Something similar to my transition to Haiti with my French training in a country where few people spoke French on a day to day basis is the language barrier I’m experiencing again.  I received six months of intensive Russian training in preparation for this post, however upon arrival I discover – no, it’s not really a surprise – that the ability to speak about global warming or international relations between Moldova and the United States isn’t what I really need to be able to discuss when interviewing a young IT professional or Moldovan farmer from the village for a tourist visa.  In addition, I would say more than half the people speak Romanian more so than Russian.  To be sure both are present in shops, on signs and in the community in general, but it seems more common for people to speak Romanian in the home than Russian.  Up until now, and into the near future, I’m relying heavily on the translation assistance of my Moldovan colleagues.  I start Russian classes again soon, this week I hope, so as to eventually be able to do the principal part of my job without assistance.

I will have a chance to do more things outside the scope of my work in the Consulate than I did in Haiti, which will be nice.  Given that I am what amounts to a deputy to my boss the Consul, I have more responsibility within the job itself than I did in Haiti.  Also, recently I helped out at the welcome reception at the Ambassador’s residence for the newly arrived DCM (Deputy Chief of Mission), and met some interesting diplomats from the Ukrainian and other embassies as well as other organizations.  The Consulate hosted a lunch the next week for our American citizen “wardens” who live around Moldova, also at the Ambassador’s residence, and again I met some fellow Americans who have some really interesting stories to tell.

So it’s been a pretty good start, I must say.

The Impending Arrivals
I am so looking forward to the arrival of my partner in crime and our International Dog of Mystery in mid-October.

Perhaps comparable to the day I departed Minnesota for training in Washington back in August 2011, the day I left Minnesota for Moldova was one of the most difficult days I have ever experienced.  It’s hard enough to go through much less describe, but the closest description I can think of is that this is what it must feel like to experience a broken heart.  Of course it’s just temporary, and in large part is my way of dealing with the process of mourning the major transitions occurring in the lives of the kids at the same time as I’m leaving the country, but it was heart wrenching to walk through the security gates and wave goodbye to my Team.  My flights from Minnesota to Amsterdam to Barcelona to Chisinau were the longest 24 hours in my life.

But Kate and Riley the Wonder Dog are coming in just a couple short weeks, and she hopes to get a part-time job at the Embassy working in the Community Liaison office.  The kids of course are and will be doing what they should be doing, which is to continue on the path to independence and adulthood.  And so that is as it should be.

Sophie is in the midst of her third year at Gustavus, and after switching her major last year to history she spent the summer in Washington, D.C. with me while interning at the National Archives, which was pretty darn cool.  She’ll spend the spring on a semester abroad in Italy, which is pretty close to Moldova, kind of.  So I’m looking forward to regular visits to Perujia to annoy, I mean visit, her.

Tommy graduated from Gustavus last spring, and cajoled me into participating in a sprint triathlon with him in Maryland last July.  He graciously kept my pace for all three legs, and in the end we had a good old time.  He has been preparing all summer and fall for his impending departure in October for boot camp outside of Chicago as he begins the next stage of his journey with the US Navy.

As you might be able to tell, we are immensely proud of them both.

Coincidence? Perhaps…
Strangely, I realized recently there are some rather odd connections between Moldova and Haiti, and it’s not that they are both relatively poor nations (although that is true).  In Haiti our house number was #30; in Moldova it’s #30A.  Hmmm, curious.  Then I remembered that Haiti managed an unlikely defeat of the powerful but weakened French army led by Napoleon Bonaparte in the early 1800s, and that the territory that is Moldova today was ceded by the Ottoman Turks to the Russian Empire in July 1812, just a month after Napoleon invaded Russia.  Six months later Russia defeated the mighty French.  History is replete with French military defeats – wonder if one of them will indicate the location of Tour #3?  Hopefully it won't be Elba or St. Helena…

Until next time
Well, if you made it this far, you’ve wasted another 30 minutes or so of your time with me, and for that I thank you.  It's not exactly the easiest place to get to on the planet, but we have the space available, and of course we have a wine cellar!  We will be happy to welcome visitors at any time to our little corner of Europe...


While still in a state of transition, life is good.  Hoping the same for you.



I want you to visit us in Moldova!!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Flag Day

Well, it's happened: I received my initial placement this past Friday here in Washington. If you haven't heard by now, we will depart the United States in September 2012 for Haiti, where I will be working in the embassy in Port-au-Prince.
 
 
 
Friday was an interesting day, to say the least. My mom and dad had driven from Milwaukee to be here, and Kate was able to get away for a few days as well, arriving amidst a late summer thunderstorm Thursday night. Unfortunately, Tommy and Sophie were unable to get away for Flag Day (as the somewhat informal ceremony is called), but Sophie will join Kate next week for the more formal swearing-in ceremony on Oct. 21.
 
 
 
There are 93 of us in our "class." Every American should know about these people. Most are younger than me (a few are even recent graduates of four-year schools, so they are about 23 or 24), but a few are older, like me taking on a second (or even third) career, this time in service to our country.
 
 
The median age is about 31. Their experiences are amazing, unbelievable even. Many have worked in embassies or consulates before, working as interns while in graduate school or in various other paid positions. Almost all of them speak at least one additional language (some as many as four or five!), some of them very difficult or obscure (ever heard of Hausa before?). Most have graduate training or degrees, often in international relations, international development, international affairs, international planning, international organizations, political science or the like. They have attended amazing schools like Georgetown, American University, Princeton, Columbia, the U.S. Military Academy, Yale, Brown, Johns Hopkins, Wellesley and Minnesota State University at Moorhead (two of my new colleagues went there!), among many others.
 
 
About 15 are former military, and about the same number are former Peace Corps volunteers. We have several who worked in education at various times in their pasts, at least four or five who have worked on Capitol Hill, two or three who have worked at the United Nations, a couple journalists, a couple from finance and IT, and we even have a few lawyers. I can say with certainty that these are highly qualified, highly motivated people who are about to do the work of the country overseas. I am proud to call these people my friends, and you should be proud that they are serving all of us at a very high level.
 
 
Similar groups of Americans go through this program six or seven times a year, and now staff US missions all over the world, yet few Americans have any idea who they are or what they do. Rest assured, these are good people doing difficult work in trying, even dangerous conditions. Not every post is comfy like London or Paris, and sometimes even those aren't always so comfy (think metro bombings in London back in 2005). More Americans should know about them.
 
 
Flag Day is highly unusual. Suffice it to say that few people ever find out the trajectory of their careers in a more surprising and public way than this. First a little background: There are 93 of us in our class, and on day three or so of orientation, we all received a "bid list" containing 93 different posts in which we might serve around the world. Each of us bids on all 93 posts, not by assigning them a number 1 to 93, but by categorizing them into three groups: high, medium or low. After we submit our bid lists, other experienced career foreign service officers (serving a D.C. tour in a position known as a career development officer) match the 93 of us with the 93 posts. (A sampling of possible posts included places like Tel Aviv, Israel; Accra, Ghana; several positions in Jakarta, Indonesia; Georgetown, Barbados; several positions across Mexico; New Dehli & Chennai, India; Nicosia, Cyprus; Geneva, Switzerland; London, England; Melbourne, Australia; several posts in Brazil; Kingston, Jamaica; Caracas, Venezuela; several posts in China; a few posts here in Washington, D.C. and Havana, Cuba, to name just a few.)
 
 
There are preferences taken into consideration -- for things like family makeup, languages already spoken, interest and desire to serve in particular places, stuff like that -- but largely we are matched with a position based on the needs of the United States Department of State. Then, this match is revealed - very publicly and quite surprisingly - near the end of orientation on Flag Day.
 
 
The 93 of us gathered this past Friday in a large conference room here at the George Schulz National Foreign Affairs Training Center in Arlington, Va. (This is where we do the bulk of our training in preparation for overseas posts.) Another 100 or so family and friends made up the balance of the audience to witness this spectacle. The ceremony is a little more informal, in that all of us had bingo cards to mark as we discovered where our new friends were going, there were lots of high-fives and hugs, even a few tears (some for joy, some not so much). The staff brings in a large supply of table-top-sized flags representing the various posts from our bid list, and after a few short remarks, the anxiety and tension ramps up to some pretty remarkable levels. An image of a flag is displayed on the big screen behind the speaker, and our class mentor (Ambassador Marcia Bernicat, most recently ambassador to Senegal and Guinea-Bissau) holds a little flag in her hand. The crowd shouts out the name of the nation to which the flag belongs (sometimes getting it wrong), and the presenter says: "I have a consular position in Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire, starting in June of 2012, for ...." Not until that very moment does anyone know where they are heading for the next few years. We have been researching posts and countries, working on the various tasks as part of this new career, waiting and dreaming about this moment for months - even years. There is more than a little adrenaline flowing at this point, and as you might imagine, some are a little more shocked than others with the results (certainly not always in a negative way). It is quite a scene to behold, not to mention in which to take part.
 
 
So another milestone of sorts has passed in this journey. I started this process in February 2009 when I took the foreign service officer written exam for the first time. More than two-and-a-half years later, after two trips to D.C. and another to Latvia and untold hours of study, practice and worry, our little family will be heading off to Port-au-Prince next year.
 
 
Yes, I took bonus points in the Russian language in order to get the job, and as such I have committed to serving in a Russian-speaking post at some point early on in this career, but there was only one Russian-speaking post (Moscow) on our bid list, and another person with more skill in the language won that post. A Russian-speaking post will come in the future, sometime after Haiti. Over the next 10 or so months I will be learning French and Haitian Creole (how cool is that?), learning the ins and outs of my new position as a consular officer (things like family-based immigrant visa processing that deal with adoption, HIV/AIDS issues, and waivers; adjudicating non-immigrant visa cases; providing passport services to a large community of Americans in-country; and dealing with a large variety of issues such as arrests, Medevacs, abandoned children and kidnappings (!), to name a few), taking basic first aid and personal safety courses, and generally preparing myself for this exciting new opportunity. Oh, and all the while working together with Kate to figure out what to do with the house, the dog, the kids, etc. Should be an interesting ride.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

On the passing of stray comets, and the Minnesota Twins

Well, the Chinese are supposed to have said "May you live in interesting times," and so it begins for us. All the waiting, and working, and patience, and waiting has come to this: An offer of a position in the US State Department as a Foreign Service Officer, to begin the 163rd A-100 Orientation class on Monday, September 12, 2011.  In a surprising little twist, the Chinese gave me a little clue in advance, as the night before my offer arrived, we had Chinese carry-out from our local pot sticker purveyor.  My fortune cookie that night?  "Good news of long-awaited event will arrive soon."  No kidding.  #1 daughter's fortune cookie that night?  "In dreams and in life, nothing is impossible."  Again, no kidding.  And #1 son's fortune cookie that same night?  "Getting together with old friends brings new adventures."  Really, what are the odds?

The planets have aligned themselves such that (and perhaps with the assistance of a stray comet or two), one door has now closed and another opened in this chapter of my life. I'll soon be off to Washington, DC after 20 years in Minnesota, to start a new career after 17 years of teaching high school social studies, with the ultimate result that the family and I will find ourselves living in some far off foreign land. Interesting indeed.

About three years ago, some friends and I decided to puchase a season ticket package for the Minnesota Twins, during their last season in the baseball non-friendly confines of the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome in Minneapolis. The goal was that we'd have an 'in' on seats as current season ticket holders when the new stadium (Target Field) opened a year or so later. That plan worked out wonderfully, and we saw some great baseball that inaugural season at Target Field.

I have been a baseball player and fan my entire life, and like baseball players the world over, I am not a believer in tempting fate. Rituals and superstition abound in the game, and ballplayers simply do not spit in the face of the baseball gods. In this vein, and after a great 2010 season, I re-upped my commitment to the group, and put down some cold hard cash for 2011 tickets, actually adding my name to another group and getting tickets in their section, too. The logic here goes like this: By putting down several hundred dollars on tickets for a season lasting most of a year, I would go so far as to guarantee myself a job that would take me away from the Minnesota Twins and the tickets I just purchased. It's kind of like getting your car washed to guarantee rain.

And so the 2011 season began, and before I knew it the Twins were 20 games under .500 by June 1st, off to their worst start in years. With that in mind, I decided at the end of the school year to make a last ditch effort at controlling my fate as a candidate for the Foreign Service, and took off for a month in Daugavpils, Latvia to try and pick up enough Russian language skills to pass a telephone language test, which would earn me bonus points for my candidacy and allow me to move up on the Register. It just so happens that as I arrived in Latvia, the Twins decided to start a little run of excellence, just as I was unable to make use the tickets I had for three or four games.

As it turns out, my decision to attend classes in Latvia worked out swimmingly. I returned to Minnesota on a Wednesday in July, and took the phone test that same week, at 800 am on Friday morning. By the Wednesday July 20, I learned that I had indeed passed the language test (again with the passing of stray comets), and my position had improved considerably on the Register, vaulting me to #4 of 100 or so, up from #42 just a day earlier. Not only had I avoided a non-existant pennant race, I managed to learn enough Russian to boost my odds of a job with the Department of State just as my candidacy was about to expire. (My first candidacy had just expired in June 2011, and my second would have expired in January 2012, but when would I again have the time to learn the language well enough to get that boost while working full time?)

I fully believed my odds of an offer for September were about as good as the Twins winning the AL Central again this year (offers for the September class were extended starting in late June while I was struggling away in Latvia), but really thought I had a shot at the January class.

Shortly after my return from Latvia, the family had a nice little chance to reconnect as we had a family reunion over a long weekend in Wisconsin, and then the four of us proceeded to spend a week hiking, sight seeing, and generally being hangers-on at a wilderness medical conference in Big Sky, Montana with my sister-in-law and her husband, the coordinator of the conference. We returned to Minnesota on Sunday, July 31 to an empty refrigerator and bare cupboards, so we visited our local Jimmy John's, after which Kate ran off to buy some groceries for the upcoming week. While shopping, some cretins stole her wallet. Credit cards, cash, the wallet itself, and the love notes from the kids when they were little. Welcome home.

That day and the next we spent considerable time filing police reports, calling credit card companies, and generally fuming at the bad luck that put Kate in the wrong place at the wrong time for the criminal to spot her purse in the grocery cart. Blast.

While out with #1 son doing some shopping at Costco the next day (August 1st), Kate sent me a text. "Are you busy on September 12?" she asked. I wracked my brain (I was used to that by now): Was it an anniversary? We did start dating in September, after all. No, that was the 15th. Hmm. What was she asking me? Then it dawned on me: That was the first day of the A-100 Orientation class! I had left my email account open, and she saw the offer show up in my inbox! Suffice it to say, the people shopping and working at Costco must have thought #1 son and I were totally bananas as we basically danced our way through the aisles high-fiving each other over and over.

It's been a whirlwind month since that fateful day in early August (and a rather crazy summer overall), with lots of emails and reams of forms, and lots of clothes shopping and other preparations. And now the time is nearly here, with my departure from Minnesota only days away. We struggled emotionally moving #1 son into his college dorm for his freshman year a few days ago, and #1 daughter is about the start her senior year of high school without me around to nag her about homework, college applications and preparing for the ACT. Other than a fabulous going-away party held here at Xylon Road, there has been little time for frivolity since notification of the offer. That includes the Twins, whose games I normally track in the daily paper and watch on TV four or five times a week (when I'm not at the ball park). But not to worry: by the time of my return from Latvia the Twins had gone back to their early season mediocrity, and in the end, I only made it to two or three games all season. My last tickets are for September 28th - the last game of this dismal season - but when I check my schedule for fall, I see that I'm a bit busy that day.

Anyone want to buy two tickets to the Twins game September 28th?

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Web-nesday Special

Found the following on a yellowing old paper in the files. Try making your non-English speaking friends read this aloud, and see how long they remain friends:


Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy.
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh here my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script receipt, show, poem and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes and reviles;
Scholar, vicar and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet.
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven.
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed but allowed.
People, leopard, towed but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp and cork and work.

Pronunciation - think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough -
Though, through, plough, or dough,
Or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!